Collection of Quotes

lol

2011-03-03T20:16:00.001-08:00

chat id : 3a633bce-5e17-436a-95fc-3de7c8b02f83
Problem : passwordsigninandhelp
> passwordsigninandhelp
Aileen > Hello guest_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Aileen. Please give me one moment to review your information.

guest_ > Hey

Aileen > Hi! Welcome to Comcast! How may I help you?

guest_ > I can't remember any of my account info

guest_ > but I need to log on to my comcast account so I can figure out my phone number

guest_ > I'm really high right now too

Aileen > I understand that you are having an issue with your Comcast Username and Password. I apologize for the frustration.

guest_ > Haha it's no problem I'm high

Aileen > May I have your name please?

guest_ > Martin H. Rose

guest_ > can I have a copy of this chat emailed to me too after?

Aileen > Hello Martin.

guest_ > Hello Aileen

Aileen > Yes, you can click on the End Session button and click on the View Transcript to have a copy of this chat.

guest_ > Cool so can I just give you some information to confirm it's me so I can get on my account?

Aileen > Yes, please provide the account number, name on the account and the service address.

guest_ > Martin H. Rose

guest_ > 2817 N. Damen Ave Apt 1 Chicago IL 60618

guest_ > I have my customer

guest_ > #

guest_ > I don't know what my account # is

Aileen > That's fine. The last 4 digits of your SSN will do.

guest_ > xxxx

Aileen > Thank you. Can you give me a minute more to pull up your account?

Aileen > I am now able to pull up your account and it shows here that the username is: martin2817

Aileen > I will have to reset the password for this and please be advised to change it later once you are able to sign in.

guest_ > where do i sign in?

Aileen > Please go to www.comcast.net and click on Email.

guest_ > okay i don't know my password

Aileen > I'm sorry, Martin.

Aileen > I am now in the process of changing your password. It is currently asking me for a 4 digit CPNI pin since you are also a proud subscriber of our COMCAST phone service. May I have your 4 digit CPNI pin?

guest_ > no

guest_ > I don't know it

guest_ > why would I know this

Aileen > The PIN was mailed to you after the phone service was installed.

Aileen > Please answer instead the Security Question: What is your favorite beverage?

guest_ > I throw everything from Comcast out

guest_ > Coke

Aileen > Thank you.

Aileen > The new password for martin2817 is : xxxxxx

Aileen > Please try to sign in and tell me if it works.

guest_ > WE DID IT AILEEN!

Aileen > That's great!

guest_ > I have a question for you though

Aileen > For you to change your password, please open this link: http://customer.comcast.com/Pages/Help.aspx Select Users and settings tab for you to log in.

guest_ > I have the phone service

guest_ > and I just got a fax machine

guest_ > I don't know what # to use for my fax #

Aileen > I see. For you to use your fax machine, you need to have a second line.

guest_ > but I don't want to use my first line

guest_ > I just want to use it for faxes

guest_ > I don't have a phone

Aileen > I see.

Aileen > You can use the first line for your fax, however it is better for us to test the phone line for a dial tone first so as to verify that the line is working.

guest_ > can you do that for me?

guest_ > or give me the #

Aileen > The telephone number is : (773) 360 - 7484

guest_ > thanks

guest_ > that's my number right?

Aileen > Yes, that is your primary number. I will have to make sure that line is working. The eMTA (Arris) needs to be reset and this may take about 2 minutes. Would that be okay with you?

guest_ > yes

guest_ > So my internet is extremely slow now

Aileen > No worries, that is normal after we re-provision the equipment.

Aileen > It is advised that you power cycle the modem router and computer in sequence.

Aileen > Powercycle is the same as rebooting your computer. The purpose for this is to refresh the settings of your equipment. This will result in faster connectivity. Here are the steps on how to powercycle: 1. Turn everything off 2. Wait for 60 seconds 3. Turn on your cable modem first 4. Turn on your router (if applicable) 5. Lastly, turn on your computer

guest_ > my internet is fine now

guest_ > what's up with the fax

guest_ > can I fax shit now?

guest_ > what's the haps on the facts of fax?

guest_ > my final raps are similar to spinal taps

Aileen > The phone line is ready so you can set up your fax maxhine on that line.

guest_ > my words should be on vinyl wax

guest_ > awesome

Aileen > Would there be anything else I can assist you for today?

guest_ > tell me what you thought of that freestyle

Aileen > You've got talent on poetry and it's pretty amazing. :-)

Aileen > Analyst has closed chat and left the room

Guy Fieri

2011-03-01T00:35:00.001-08:00

twilightz0nek9s 2:09 am
yo
u know guy fierri from the food channel?
someone needs to call the fashion police on him

mistermartyrose 2:09 am
sorta
blonde?
chubby?

twilightz0nek9s 2:09 am
like for real
yeah
they gave him some show on not food tv
like a game show or something
saw an ad today

mistermartyrose 2:11 am
yeah i saw it too
something about a minute

mistermartyrose 2:30 am
like
jerk off in a minute flat
and you win 1m
with that douche yelling in your ear

twilightz0nek9s 2:31 am
lol
nothing in the world makes me lose wood like that guy
mabye 2 girls 1 cup
maaaabye

mistermartyrose 2:31 am
lollolollo

lol

2011-02-22T22:13:00.000-08:00

mistermartyrose 12:11
this girl said im a savant today
poker savant

xallenc05x 12:11
idiot savant perhaps

mistermartyrose 12:12
HAHA

looool

2011-02-12T13:07:00.000-08:00

Matthew Rubin:
Free 1000 rollover minutes from AT&T! Works with all phones!
Text "Yes" to 11113020

Ryan Lockard:
You get hacked?

Matthew Rubin:
No, slickdeals

God's Chosen People

2011-02-08T21:57:00.000-08:00

Nathan: yo do u like whipped cream cheese or regular on bagels?
TJ: not a big fan of either why
Nathan: Ok
TJ: that was random
Nathan: yeah
conducting a poll
i think whipped is waaay better
was curious what other people thought
since i was eating bagel chips and lox w/ cream cheese
oh i gotta ask matt rubin
hes a jew
obv likes bagels

Nathan: Yo
Nathan: do u like whipped cream cheese or regular on bagels?
Matt: all jews dont eat bagels
Nathan: lolol
Matt: i usually buy the regular since whipped is overpriced

Bringing the Blog Back

2011-02-08T21:56:00.000-08:00

twilightz0nek9s(10:50:32 PM): obv
twilightz0nek9s(10:50:43 PM): i mean i think im pretty hot
twilightz0nek9s(10:50:51 PM): like if i could clone myself i would definitely have sex with me

marriage advice from a guy who almost got divorced

2010-09-21T00:33:00.000-07:00

hoonist
i don't want to fold the towels

mistermartyrose
looool

hoonist
but i don't want to get divorced either :-D

battal

2010-08-29T16:24:00.001-07:00

Basically what happened was my boy told this chick that he liked her tattoo's and her bf started freaking out trying to start shit. My two friends went into a cab and my friend Marge was trying to cool down the situation. The bf was going nuts and started talking shit to me. I was just standing about to get into the cab with a bottle of coke and some leftover nachos in my hand. I called him a bitch multiple times and he came at me and tried to punch me. I dodged it with ease. Then another dude came at me and punched me in the chest. Keep in mind I still had my nachos and the bottle of coke in my hand and had not even thrown anything. His punch literally didn't hurt at all and I started laughing at them. I think this is what really pissed them off because then I got jumped by three dudes. One had me in a headlock and other dudes were pounding away at my face. My friend Marge helped me get out of the headlock and I turned around and clocked a dude straight in the face. It actually reminded me of Mike Tyson's punch-out because of the way my fist connected with his cheek in slow motion. While I was scrambling, my two friends get out of the cab and as soon as they step out they both get clocked in the face and both now have black eyes. They both got off zero punches. This other dude was standing on newspaper machine trying to jump me and I uppercut him in the face and he fell off. Then I got in the cab and called them all bitches and bounced with my friends. Oh I forgot to mention that I was wearing a pink dress shirt with a black vest and black dress pants and these pink nikes hahaha.

awk

2010-08-01T19:43:00.000-07:00

Mattr: My grandma is sick and dying
TJ: She had a good run.

...

...

...

...

awk

...

2010-04-23T14:36:00.001-07:00

mistermartyrose (4:35:23 PM): I have diarrhea
mortal enforcer (4:35:23 PM): you always say tomorrow
mistermartyrose (4:35:26 PM): im in a shitty mood
mortal enforcer (4:35:27 PM): yo usaid tomorrow yesterday
mortal enforcer (4:35:29 PM): LOL
mortal enforcer (4:35:31 PM): SHITTY MOOD
mistermartyrose (4:35:35 PM): LOOOOOOOOOOL

"Drugs are bad mmkay"

2010-03-30T15:49:00.001-07:00

twilightz0nek9s (5:45:25 PM): yo
mistermartyrose (5:45:43 PM): yo
twilightz0nek9s (5:46:29 PM): you ever take adderal?
mistermartyrose (5:46:30 PM): once
twilightz0nek9s (5:46:48 PM): did u play poker?
twilightz0nek9s (5:46:54 PM): at all
twilightz0nek9s (5:46:58 PM): while u were high from it
mistermartyrose (5:47:03 PM): no
twilightz0nek9s (5:47:22 PM): ive done it a few times
twilightz0nek9s (5:47:26 PM): and done terrible
twilightz0nek9s (5:47:35 PM): but some people think it helps them concentrate
twilightz0nek9s (5:47:49 PM): like i did that the other day
twilightz0nek9s (5:47:59 PM): and played a 20 hour session or something
mistermartyrose (5:48:04 PM): wow
twilightz0nek9s (5:48:15 PM): and lost like 340 dollars at 11 dollar sngs
twilightz0nek9s (5:48:23 PM): i think ive never had a winning session on it
mistermartyrose (5:48:24 PM): loooooool
twilightz0nek9s (5:48:29 PM): i think it makes me play awful
twilightz0nek9s (5:48:30 PM): lol

Nathan tries to go to culinary school...

2010-03-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

Nathan: eh kind of gave up

Nathan: im going back to Maryland for the summer session

Nathan: i got denied at Chipotle and that was the last straw

TJ: rofl

How far would you go?

2009-12-21T22:30:00.001-08:00

twilightz0nek9s (1:14:53 AM): ugh
twilightz0nek9s (1:14:57 AM): car is in the shop
mistermartyrose (1:14:58 AM): what happened
mistermartyrose (1:15:00 AM): I'm in NJ
twilightz0nek9s (1:15:06 AM): i just walked 6 miles in the snow
twilightz0nek9s (1:15:16 AM): it was 3 miles each way
twilightz0nek9s (1:15:19 AM): to get weed
mistermartyrose (1:15:20 AM): loooool
twilightz0nek9s (1:15:27 AM): in these bootleg bathing apes i bought online
twilightz0nek9s (1:15:34 AM): feet are bleeding
twilightz0nek9s (1:15:36 AM): :(

Simple Math

2009-03-11T21:12:00.000-07:00

keeptalking27: so aaron made cookies
keeptalking27: and im like
keeptalking27: they are 1/2 as good as sex
keeptalking27: and hes like
keeptalking27: so ill have 2
keeptalking27: and be done

=(

2009-02-22T13:49:00.000-08:00

keeptalking27: like, most parents that have the moeny
keeptalking27: pay for kids education
keeptalking27: when my parents get older
keeptalking27: and need like
keeptalking27: nursing care
keeptalking27: or something
keeptalking27: im gonna be paying for that
keeptalking27: so its kinda like the cycle of life
keeptalking27: kinda depressing
keeptalking27: since ill never have kids
keeptalking27: 2 take care of me

Some Guys Have all the Luck

2009-02-16T16:14:00.000-08:00

keeptalking27 (2:25:53 PM): fucking rough times for me
mistermartyrose (2:26:01 PM): i heard
keeptalking27 (2:26:06 PM): LIke jeez
keeptalking27 (2:26:12 PM): she went for like 18 guys
mistermartyrose (2:26:16 PM): =(
keeptalking27 (2:26:17 PM): i was counting
mistermartyrose (2:26:19 PM): LOL

3:59:01 PM Aaron Rubinstein: yeah its bad, princess? thats what her name tag said
3:59:05 PM Aaron Rubinstein: obv not royality
3:59:11 PM Aaron Rubinstein: like a lowly peasant
3:59:18 PM Marty Rose: lololol
3:59:29 PM Marty Rose: serf imo
4:00:05 PM Aaron Rubinstein: hahah works on the plantation
4:00:17 PM Aaron Rubinstein: she wasnt a peasant she was the town slut
4:00:30 PM Aaron Rubinstein: i tried to hand off
4:00:33 PM Aaron Rubinstein: but no dice
4:00:41 PM Marty Rose: whatd she say
4:00:50 PM Aaron Rubinstein: I was like h/u with him
4:00:54 PM Aaron Rubinstein: she was like no I want you
4:00:57 PM Aaron Rubinstein: I was like I dont want you
4:01:01 PM Aaron Rubinstein: but he does
4:01:02 PM Marty Rose: lol
4:01:19 PM Aaron Rubinstein: At the end of the night she was like ill do whatever you want
4:01:23 PM Aaron Rubinstein: I was like h/u with him
4:01:25 PM Aaron Rubinstein: and I left
4:01:27 PM Marty Rose: loooool
4:01:36 PM Aaron Rubinstein: I had to find TJ
4:01:37 PM Marty Rose: that's absurd
4:01:42 PM Aaron Rubinstein: wandering the streets of bing

So, Aaron, Glasses and TJ all go to a frat party. Theres this redic slut hitting on infi and hooking up with everyone, she comes to glasses and shes like no. Finds 18 other guys apparently before coming back to glasses at the end of the night and asking him to call her a taxi.

Rape Button

2009-02-16T16:03:00.000-08:00

(8:22:14 PM) palkpal1: they
(8:22:15 PM) palkpal1: have rape
(8:22:17 PM) palkpal1: things
(8:22:18 PM) palkpal1: in the beds
(8:22:19 PM) palkpal1: to hit
(8:33:12 PM) mattrubin82: lol
(8:33:15 PM) mattrubin82: ur kidding me right
(8:35:54 PM) palkpal1: n
(8:36:04 PM) palkpal1: theres emergency things
(8:36:34 PM) mattrubin82: lol
(8:36:36 PM) mattrubin82: like deed is done
(8:36:38 PM) mattrubin82: before they get
(8:36:40 PM) mattrubin82: to the room
(8:36:42 PM) palkpal1: yea
(8:36:48 PM) mattrubin82: or do they have an RA
(8:36:49 PM) palkpal1: but it scares people off
(8:36:50 PM) mattrubin82: at every room
(8:36:54 PM) palkpal1: nah\
(8:36:54 PM) mattrubin82: lol
(8:36:55 PM) palkpal1: n ra
(8:36:58 PM) palkpal1: calls cops
(8:37:00 PM) mattrubin82: like someone under bed
(8:37:02 PM) mattrubin82: ur too close
(8:37:04 PM) mattrubin82: slow it down

Ravioli

2009-02-13T12:11:00.000-08:00

Showmeaction1664: whats up buddy
Gfabs5:my mom made a deal with tj and and sonne
Showmeaction1664:hahah
Showmeaction1664:lemme here it
Gfabs5:if they wash the dishes
Gfabs5:she makes them ravolis
Showmeaction1664: Best deal ever

lolz

2009-02-05T22:02:00.000-08:00

NeRvEGaS U (11:43:10 PM): there was some black thing tonight goin down at student center
NeRvEGaS U (11:43:12 PM): i thought of u, lol
mistermartyrose (11:43:25 PM): rofl
mistermartyrose (11:43:28 PM): what was going down
NeRvEGaS U (11:43:34 PM): saw some black chick there who had the biggest nice ass ever
mistermartyrose (11:43:40 PM): =)
mistermartyrose (11:43:44 PM): I'm an assman
NeRvEGaS U (11:43:44 PM): dunno, like random people rapping and shit.
NeRvEGaS U (11:43:49 PM): girls stompdancing?
NeRvEGaS U (11:43:52 PM): but it was upstairs
mistermartyrose (11:43:56 PM): damn I woulda loved to freestyle

LESBEIENS

2009-01-28T21:20:00.001-08:00

gfabs5: LOL
gfabs5: is your mom a lesbeien?
palkpal1: yea
gfabs5: really?
palkpal1: yea
gfabs5: you never told me
gfabs5: i dont think
palkpal1: i know
gfabs5: sry to LOL

accidents happen

2009-01-24T18:16:00.001-08:00

allenc05: i saw tysonthe skateboarding bulldog earlier

Jeff: i hit this girl skateboarding in thesnow
the other day

allenc05: lol
fu
this was awesome
hes really good

Jeff: lol w/e she should thank me
she can park wherever she wanst now.

Condom Kingdom

2009-01-21T18:12:00.000-08:00

palkpal1 (8:10:44 PM): so im hanging out with girl
palkpal1 (8:10:52 PM): joking around at condom kingdom
palkpal1 (8:11:11 PM): looking at all the toys comments on how viberators are too expensive
palkpal1 (8:11:18 PM): im thinking well not getting ya one
palkpal1 (8:11:27 PM): way out she's like wow these condoms are the shit
palkpal1 (8:11:36 PM): never know when you might need them
palkpal1 (8:11:42 PM): in head im thinking is that a green light
palkpal1 (8:11:48 PM): turns out it was not even close
palkpal1 (8:11:50 PM): to a go
palkpal1 (8:11:54 PM): not even a yellow
palkpal1 (8:12:06 PM): basically a 4car pileup

Slackers

2008-12-23T18:21:00.000-08:00

EspooOoo: but no weed today
EspooOoo: fcking slouch drug dealer
palkpal1: what happened
EspooOoo: nah hes xmas shopping lol
palkpal1: rofl

Not drunk enough

2008-12-20T17:42:00.000-08:00

AesirLoki: so im a little drunk last night, im sitting down for a bit
AesirLoki: and this fat chick comes up and starts dancing
AesirLoki: and im just like, sry, no
AesirLoki: as i shake my head and put my hand out
AesirLoki: shes like no?
AesirLoki: im like no
AesirLoki: then she walks away
AesirLoki: this dude like 3 ft from me goes, yeh dude that just happened to me too
AesirLoki: lol

A contest of sorts...

2008-12-14T23:01:00.000-08:00

Matthew Rubin: ill run pic for pic with random girls who is better lookng
for $

palkpal1: if i get real pics i will

Matthew Rubin: like u still will have ur slow dumb look even if pic is real

palkpal1: ok buddy we wear same cloths and take pictures and judge

Matthew Rubin: ok how much u want to run it for

palkpal1: we each pick 1 thing to wear and take a picture

Matthew Rubin: lol

palkpal1: i got mine already

Matthew Rubin: whats ur pic u playing guitar hero that ones classic

palkpal1: just shirtless

Matthew Rubin: lol

palkpal1: yea i look retarted there

Matthew Rubin: ill give u 3 to 1 on guitar hero (http://photos-c.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v238/93/3/26806193/n26806193_31764562_8493.jpg)

palkpal1: nah that pic is soo bad

Glasses

2008-12-09T21:36:00.000-08:00

palkpal1: so howd u end it
keeptalking27: gave her a hug
keeptalking27: said see u soon
keeptalking27: used the ol poker bluff charm
keeptalking27: she has no idea
keeptalking27: ill never see her again

TJ's new girl

2008-12-09T10:16:00.001-08:00

(1:08:24 PM) MattRubin82: so tj was talking to a religious girl
(1:08:27 PM) MattRubin82: and asked her
(1:08:31 PM) MattRubin82: if she wanted to study together
(1:08:36 PM) MattRubin82: and she snap blocked him
(1:08:37 PM) MattRubin82: in disgust
(1:13:32 PM) mistermartyrose: LOL
(1:13:36 PM) mistermartyrose: study the bible?
(1:13:42 PM) MattRubin82: yeah
(1:13:47 PM) mistermartyrose: that's amazing
(1:13:48 PM) MattRubin82: she apparently was 'born again'
(1:13:50 PM) MattRubin82: christian
(1:14:09 PM) MattRubin82: tj put u want to "study" ;)
(1:14:14 PM) mistermartyrose: wowow TJ is turning into BloodNinja I'm kinda impressed
(1:14:22 PM) MattRubin82: i told him
(1:14:26 PM) MattRubin82: shes not putting out
(1:14:29 PM) MattRubin82: for anyone except god
(1:14:37 PM) MattRubin82: her motto on the fish site was
(1:14:40 PM) MattRubin82: love is patience

more evidence that TJ lives in a cave

2008-12-07T17:13:00.001-08:00

(8:03:14 PM) MattRubin82: whod she love
(8:03:16 PM) MattRubin82: cobain?
(8:03:28 PM) palkpal1: cobain?
(8:03:38 PM) MattRubin82: kurt
(8:03:42 PM) MattRubin82: never heard of him?
(8:04:02 PM) MattRubin82: meh
(8:04:04 PM) MattRubin82: stop googling
(8:04:29 PM) palkpal1: lol
(8:04:48 PM) MattRubin82: u ever heard of him?
(8:07:24 PM) palkpal1: n

UMass trip report

2008-12-06T16:22:00.000-08:00

My day started with getting on the bus to go see my friend Christian aka lank monsta at UMass. On the bus I listened to a podcast called the two jacks in the hole and it's hilarity caused me to bust out laughing on multiple occasions. I texted TJ and Lily about the awkwardness.
Upon arrival I caught up with C crack the don as we watched some TV in his room. After that we went to his friends room and smoked some herb. His friends were mad chill and I'm pretty excited to come back and visit.

***WARNING***
This report is only my account of what happened...I apologize for any information I divulge that is incorrect.

We went back to Christian and DJ's room and started playing some asshole. I hadn't played asshole since summer camp so I got crushed as everyone else was on top of their game. Eventually I caught on avoided the house rule of if you're the asshole for three times in a row you have to wear something absurd until you're not the asshole anymore.

One of the kids was not so lucky and had to wear Christian's Yankee fitted (he's a hardcore Red Sox fan like everyone else there obv). After we played asshole we busted out the rum. I think it went down so smooth because it was kept in the freezer.

Christian's friend whose name was Meg came into our room and was already trashed (keep in mind this was like 6pm). People were fucking with her pretty badly since she was so gone...I did not approve.

Next we went to the UMass hockey game. I flashed some girls ID for the free entry and we got some food. The game was a lot of fun because the stadium was packed. I hadn't gone to a hockey game in awhile and forgot how much fun it was.

UMass won because they are sick nasty this year and because their fans are crazy. Their chants are really funny because no matter what game you are at they add a "Yankees suck" to the end of it.

After the game we took the bus to this house party. The house was big and there were a ton of people in the basement. This is where things start to get pretty hazy.

I remember buying myself and Christian a cup. I remember seeing three girls and being like let me buy you ladies beers. Then I couldn't find them so I just drank it all myself.

Then shit got completely lost in my memory and this is just what I've heard from people after the fact.

I called Lily twice and left her messages of me freestyling.

I lost my phone probably at the party or god knows where. Luckily, I somehow got back to the dorm thanks to Christians roommate DJ (I think it was the bus).

Christian was busy spitting game at some girls so I would've been completely fucked without DJ since I didn't know anyone.

When I got back to the dorm I just did not stop puking. I puked on the floor. I puked in the garbage. I puked on the futon. I went in the bathroom puked in the toilet. I puked on the bathroom floor.

There was puke on my shoes. There was puke on back of my jeans. There was puke on my sweatshirt.

Possibly the funniest part was the puke on my boxers. It was completely covering my crotch area. Yes, those boxers are no longer with us.

People told me that I was just laying on the bathroom floor naked in a pile of my on vomit. I'm pretty sure I wasn't naked but still hilarious.

When I went to brush my teeth in the morning (I awoke at 10:30am when we got back after 4:00am) I could hear the girls on the floor talking about me. They said, "I didn't know what to do" "He was on the floor naked" "Yeah, he's not my friend but still."

My head hurt so bad I just stayed in the shower for an hour letting the hot water rush over me. I have no idea how I got into the futon to sleep though in the first place. Well, that is the conclusion to my tale and I'm pretty sure UMass will never forget the adventures of MRose.

Frosh Week

2008-09-18T15:06:00.000-07:00

[18:05] TwilightZ0neK9s: what week is best ever?
[18:05] simjohnx: frosh week
[18:05] TwilightZ0neK9s: i see
[18:05] simjohnx: i always look forward to it
[18:05] simjohnx: drunkass frosh girls
[18:05] TwilightZ0neK9s: you do the raping?
[18:05] simjohnx: i wouldnt call it raping
[18:05] TwilightZ0neK9s: lol
[18:06] TwilightZ0neK9s: yeah i know
[18:06] simjohnx: i think its consensual
[18:06] TwilightZ0neK9s: it is
[18:06] simjohnx: always get the video of her saying "yes"
[18:06] simjohnx: or some shit
[18:06] simjohnx: u kno?
[18:06] simjohnx: cover ur back
[18:06] simjohnx: just in case
[18:06] TwilightZ0neK9s: ROFL

ship ship

2008-08-22T04:03:00.001-07:00

xallenc05x (6:02:39 AM): ! oh kinda interesting news
mistermartyrose (6:02:45 AM): !
xallenc05x (6:02:47 AM): my friend banged an 8th grade teacher
xallenc05x (6:02:50 AM): at our high school
mistermartyrose (6:02:53 AM): that's balla
xallenc05x (6:02:55 AM): i know
xallenc05x (6:02:58 AM): i had her
xallenc05x (6:02:59 AM): and now
xallenc05x (6:03:01 AM): hes had her.
mistermartyrose (6:03:13 AM): loooooooool

who else

2008-07-17T13:58:00.000-07:00

MisterMartyRose (4:49:58 PM): hey
MisterMartyRose (4:50:02 PM): I sent u a txt msg
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:50:14 PM): im not at my phone
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:50:17 PM): laura has the phone
MisterMartyRose (4:50:20 PM): awk
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:50:27 PM): what was the message?
MisterMartyRose (4:50:37 PM): thanks for the sex last night
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:50:42 PM): ROFLMAO
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:50:47 PM): u serious?
MisterMartyRose (4:50:49 PM): na
MisterMartyRose (4:50:57 PM): but I guess ill write another one
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:51:01 PM): lol
MisterMartyRose (4:51:06 PM): I said u wanna see batman tonight
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:51:07 PM): like i was with her last night
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:51:17 PM): and we were drunk and high
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:51:21 PM): in our hotel room
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:51:27 PM): and we were on the first floot
MisterMartyRose (4:51:27 PM): fun
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:51:43 PM): we had this really tight wound clerk who let u in at night
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:51:58 PM): and like we were going outside naked for cigarettes
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:52:03 PM): and taking pics
MisterMartyRose (4:52:17 PM): wtf
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:52:22 PM): and like i was saying she should go knock with her clothes on outside
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:52:33 PM): and get the clekrs attention
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:52:41 PM): and id come out butt naked to let her in
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:52:59 PM): and shed take a pic of his face
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:53:03 PM): when he saw me naked
MisterMartyRose (4:53:07 PM): lol
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:53:14 PM): and we were going out the window and shit
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:53:24 PM): and we got fined for smoking in the room and breakign the screen
MisterMartyRose (4:53:47 PM): gg
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:53:48 PM): you cant blog this tho
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:54:08 PM): cus laura shouldnt know I told u
MisterMartyRose (4:54:08 PM): ok
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:54:19 PM): lol
MisterMartyRose (4:54:19 PM): I wont blog's dead
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:54:25 PM): put it all on
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:54:28 PM): blog is dead?
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:54:30 PM): why?
MisterMartyRose (4:54:31 PM): basicalyl
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:54:31 PM): i loved it
MisterMartyRose (4:54:37 PM): no one updates
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:54:38 PM): hows it dead?
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:54:42 PM): update now
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:54:46 PM): with story
MisterMartyRose (4:54:53 PM): this story?
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:55:03 PM): yea
MisterMartyRose (4:55:10 PM): u just said I shouldn't though
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:55:13 PM): lol
MisterMartyRose (4:55:15 PM): blog>wife apparently?
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:55:17 PM): i dont care
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:55:24 PM): shes justy gonna be a little mad
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:55:29 PM): like its not gonna be serious
MisterMartyRose (4:55:51 PM): that's good
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:56:07 PM): if (blog > wifey) post else post anyway
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:56:22 PM): i wrote you a C++ program
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:56:25 PM): for what to do
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:56:31 PM): im high as shit
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:56:38 PM): this pro kayaker smoked me up
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:56:43 PM): after a kayak lesson
MisterMartyRose (4:56:44 PM): lol
MisterMartyRose (4:56:50 PM): where the fuck are u
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:56:59 PM): Beachburg Ontario
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:57:10 PM): by the rapids on the ottawa river
MisterMartyRose (4:57:13 PM): I guess no batman tonight
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:57:18 PM): had an awesome time kayaking tonight
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:57:22 PM): me and laura might see it
MisterMartyRose (4:57:28 PM): cute
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:57:29 PM):
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:57:33 PM): see ya later
MisterMartyRose (4:57:38 PM): how are you funding this trip?
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:57:45 PM): work
TwilightZ0neK9s (4:57:49 PM): and my grandpa
MisterMartyRose (4:57:56 PM): ttyl
MisterMartyRose (4:58:02 PM): gl and have fun

senior citizens

2008-06-30T01:50:00.001-07:00

MisterMartyRose (1:38:02 AM): actually all the old ppl in TS hated me
xallenc05x (1:39:02 AM): old people hate everyone
xallenc05x (1:39:13 AM): i almost wanted to go up to one and be like
xallenc05x (1:39:15 AM): why are u gambling
xallenc05x (1:39:16 AM): ur just gonna die
xallenc05x (1:39:20 AM): who cares if u win infi

tj and mattr

2008-06-19T02:12:00.000-07:00

palkpal1 (5:11:57 AM): maybe just be better then matt r
palkpal1 (5:12:10 AM): pretty sure
palkpal1 (5:12:12 AM): if his mom said
palkpal1 (5:12:19 AM): why coudent u of done what tj did
palkpal1 (5:12:21 AM): i could die
MisterMartyRose (5:12:28 AM): loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

zZzz

2008-05-29T20:43:00.001-07:00

MisterMartyRose (10:37:46 PM): yo
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:37:53 PM): yyo
MisterMartyRose (10:38:02 PM): sup my nigga
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:39:26 PM): not too much
MisterMartyRose (10:39:47 PM): u bored
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:39:52 PM): yeah
MisterMartyRose (10:39:56 PM): I can help
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:41:03 PM): what?
MisterMartyRose (10:41:30 PM): I have an english debate tomorrow
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:41:39 PM): im going to sleep soon
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:41:45 PM): work tommorow
MisterMartyRose (10:42:09 PM): ok well if u want I need 2 minutes of shit for this homeschooling debate
MisterMartyRose (10:42:12 PM): for $$
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:42:26 PM): im trying to jerk off atm
MisterMartyRose (10:42:50 PM): .............

how romantic

2008-04-14T18:02:00.000-07:00

TwilightZ0neK9s: The7CardStud
TwilightZ0neK9s: pw iluvlaura

...

2008-04-11T00:11:00.001-07:00

C H 1 N K 8 0 8 (2:10:01 AM): dude
C H 1 N K 8 0 8 (2:10:06 AM): this site is fucking nuts
C H 1 N K 8 0 8 (2:10:16 AM): http://www.phonetrace.org/
C H 1 N K 8 0 8 (2:10:23 AM): i can find where ppl are jus by their #
MisterMartyRose (2:10:40 AM): lol
C H 1 N K 8 0 8 (2:10:50 AM): so if u get some chicks #
C H 1 N K 8 0 8 (2:10:51 AM): stalk em
MisterMartyRose (2:11:09 AM): awk

gerard

2008-04-08T14:26:00.001-07:00

2:45:16 Gerard: then she wil see
2:45:20 Gerard: i am gp champion
2:45:25 Julian Levin: turn on?
2:45:27 Gerard: and will want me even more
2:45:31 Julian Levin: obv
2:45:36 Gerard: but is it just for my magic skills?
2:45:43 Gerard: thats what i have to figure out
2:45:50 Julian Levin: man she might be a magic gold digger
2:46:01 Julian Levin: does this happen often?
2:46:09 Julian Levin: like do u have to pretend your not famous
2:46:14 Julian Levin: to make sure girls act like u
2:46:16 Gerard: i aint sayin she a gold digger , but she aint messin with a 0-2 drop nigga
2:46:20 Julian Levin: lol
2:46:26 Gerard: lol im too sick
2:46:31 Julian Levin: man i got no shot!

He's Serious...

2008-04-07T13:05:00.001-07:00

janjaweedslayah (2:51:21 PM): yo
MisterMartyRose (2:51:27 PM): yo
janjaweedslayah (2:51:45 PM): i need to ask a favor
MisterMartyRose (2:51:55 PM): cant guarantee
janjaweedslayah (2:51:57 PM): when i was 14
janjaweedslayah (2:52:00 PM): i won a money draft
janjaweedslayah (2:52:06 PM): however it was 8 man
janjaweedslayah (2:52:09 PM): winner take all
janjaweedslayah (2:52:11 PM): i won
janjaweedslayah (2:52:19 PM): and my oppo got up took all the cards
janjaweedslayah (2:52:21 PM): and left
janjaweedslayah (2:52:23 PM): he was 21
janjaweedslayah (2:52:26 PM): i found him on facebook
janjaweedslayah (2:52:31 PM): then google mapped his house
janjaweedslayah (2:52:36 PM): hes 27 now and lives nearby
MisterMartyRose (2:53:01 PM): rofl
MisterMartyRose (2:53:06 PM): what do you want me to do
janjaweedslayah (2:53:12 PM): there wasl ike 60 worht of shit dude
janjaweedslayah (2:53:16 PM): foil polluted delta
janjaweedslayah (2:53:23 PM): exalted
janjaweedslayah (2:53:26 PM): it was a sick draft
janjaweedslayah (2:53:41 PM): i want u to have my fucking back lol
janjaweedslayah (2:53:49 PM): and im juicing him too
janjaweedslayah (2:53:55 PM): basically
janjaweedslayah (2:54:00 PM): gonna get him invited to a poker game
janjaweedslayah (2:54:06 PM): hope he brings like a buy in
janjaweedslayah (2:54:10 PM): then im mobbing his ass
janjaweedslayah (2:54:14 PM): and taking his shit

YURICHICK FOR INVITATIONAL STORY TELLER BALLOT

2008-04-07T00:04:00.001-07:00

Any really good stories from this weekend?
Homebrewed the list Friday night and stayed at Brett Blackman's house.

zinggggg

2008-03-23T18:19:00.000-07:00

C H 1 N K 8 0 8 (8:49:25 PM): i kno asians on mainland dig white guys
C H 1 N K 8 0 8 (8:49:27 PM): but ones here dont
MisterMartyRose (8:49:30 PM): weird
C H 1 N K 8 0 8 (8:49:32 PM): yah
C H 1 N K 8 0 8 (8:49:37 PM): i guess they like small asian cock
MisterMartyRose (8:49:53 PM): i bet you're really popular then

magic online

2008-03-12T20:38:00.000-07:00

MisterMartyRose (10:35:49 PM): yooooo
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:35:51 PM): my friend saw me on modo
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:35:56 PM): trading for a set
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:36:05 PM): and i was trading with the cheontourage
MisterMartyRose (10:36:13 PM): he make fun of u?
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:36:15 PM): and hes like "whats the cheontourage?"
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:36:22 PM): so i told him
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:36:27 PM): about Paul Cheon and his barns
MisterMartyRose (10:36:30 PM): yeah
TwilightZ0neK9s (10:36:52 PM): and hes like "WOW it must be awesome to be Paul Cheon and hang out with the Cheontourage"
MisterMartyRose (10:36:57 PM): lol

standard

2008-03-03T17:52:00.000-08:00

mediohxcore (7:48:57 PM): my gf is at a comedian, who is an ex sex-educator
mediohxcore (7:48:59 PM): and he says
mediohxcore (7:49:04 PM): and she repeats to me via text
MisterMartyRose (7:49:07 PM): loooool
mediohxcore (7:49:12 PM): "shopping for a condom is like shopping for a car"
mediohxcore (7:49:14 PM): and I reply
mediohxcore (7:49:19 PM): "because I dont"
MisterMartyRose (7:49:25 PM): oh I was gunna say
MisterMartyRose (7:49:28 PM): don't get em used
mediohxcore (7:49:34 PM): LOL
MisterMartyRose (7:49:36 PM): =)
mediohxcore (7:49:55 PM): dont trust the salesmen
mediohxcore (7:53:05 PM): or your woman

Gerard...Just After the Superbowl

2008-02-03T19:49:00.000-08:00

GFabs5 (10:14:35 PM): when does the super bowl start

=)

2008-01-19T16:11:00.001-08:00

BlGGIE SMALLS: Loose
BlGGIE SMALLS: im quiting soon
BlGGIE SMALLS: gunna go eat
BlGGIE SMALLS: ok?
Dealer: LooseZepher wins the pot ($2.85)
Dealer: Hand #4921435208
BlGGIE SMALLS: talk to me loose
Dealer: BlGGIE SMALLS wins the pot ($0.50)
Dealer: Hand #4921436550
Dealer: LooseZepher has 5 seconds left to act
LooseZepher: no please don't you have my bankroll

glasses

2008-01-16T19:44:00.000-08:00

keeptalking27 (10:41:18 PM): i tilted off the $250 my friend owedme
keeptalking27 (10:41:22 PM): in 30 mins
keeptalking27 (10:41:26 PM): and banned myself
palkpal1 (10:42:27 PM): should do life ban
palkpal1 (10:42:30 PM): obv have a problem
keeptalking27 (10:41:39 PM): yea
keeptalking27 (10:41:41 PM): i know
keeptalking27 (10:41:43 PM): i stopped now
keeptalking27 (10:41:48 PM): i went to GA
palkpal1 (10:43:31 PM): ga?
keeptalking27 (10:42:43 PM): gamblers anonmyous
keeptalking27 (10:42:48 PM): i guess not so anonymous now

TJ's mom on his screenname

2008-01-05T09:16:00.000-08:00

GFabs5: WHEN AM I GETTING MY FUCKING MONEY
palkpal1: Tj is not home How much money does he owe you

MisterMartyRose (11:04:19 AM): yo
MisterMartyRose (11:14:22 AM): I heard tony is looking for you I hope your not going to NY

someone dosent know the odds

2008-01-01T14:08:00.000-08:00

(3:34:37 PM): BRETT9LISA (9:01:12 AM): im 100% sure

BRETT9LISA (9:01:20 AM): im having sex on new years

TwilightZ0ne

2007-12-31T03:17:00.000-08:00

So its tj, marty, espoo, and nathan from the way back from a ptq in md. On the way back we decide to get something to eat so we stop at fridays. We take a raffle on who has to walk in to see what the waits in. For the first time ever i dont get picked and marty has to go in. Baum fist pumps his dodging of the walk. Marty leaves and goes in then to my amazement baum goes gotta run bathroom. So he gets out of the car and marty apparenttly says to baum place are name ill see if were staying since its 25 mins. Marty gets back and we wait a few secs. Then mins and we finally get out of the car after 20mins. Baum coudent find out where we parked. We just yell at how dumb baum is and how he cant find the car. To top it off he never put are name in so we go in and the waits 30mins. So we just berate baum at how dumb he is for not being able to find the car. He swears we moved it somewhere and he coudent find it. He eventually just admits that he was too dumb and he coudent find the car. He was telling us how he was asking to borrow cell phones and no one would give him one. He even asked the officer "can you help me i lost my friends." The true story is once marty got in the car i decided to move it 3 spaces to the left. Apparenttly baum coudent figure it out. He kept walking over so close then turning around in frustartion. He kept mutter "this isent funny guys" under his breath on the 20mins he was waiting outside. He walked around and coudent find us. So the joke cost us a good 50mins that werent not getting back but well worth it. Food was pretty fridays like so average at best. TIll the next time NANANANANANANANANANANANANAANNAN

Glasses

2007-12-28T05:16:00.001-08:00

keeptalking27 (8:14:39 AM): well i will, but ill be out
keeptalking27 (8:14:43 AM): got big day
MisterMartyRose (8:14:51 AM): ?
keeptalking27 (8:14:57 AM): haircut
keeptalking27 (8:15:01 AM): then 3 different banks
keeptalking27 (8:15:03 AM): stock broker
keeptalking27 (8:15:05 AM): post office
keeptalking27 (8:15:09 AM): best chinese buffet ever
keeptalking27 (8:15:10 AM): poker game
MisterMartyRose (8:15:31 AM): I'm so glad I'm not you
keeptalking27 (8:15:38 AM): lol
keeptalking27 (8:15:41 AM): whys that
MisterMartyRose (8:15:51 AM): don't worry about it

classes

2007-12-24T00:41:00.000-08:00

MisterMartyRose (3:39:16 AM): regging for classes such a beating
palkpal1 (3:39:31 AM): u wanna see a beating
MisterMartyRose (3:39:34 AM): yea
palkpal1 (3:39:37 AM): be on probatioon
palkpal1 (3:39:41 AM): and then try to register
palkpal1 (3:39:46 AM): gotta go in person
MisterMartyRose (3:39:55 AM): rofl that happened to u?
palkpal1 (3:39:58 AM): was so unreal
palkpal1 (3:40:03 AM): gpa was 1.98
palkpal1 (3:40:05 AM): and if its below 2
palkpal1 (3:40:07 AM): u gotta meet
MisterMartyRose (3:40:17 AM): wow im sorry
MisterMartyRose (3:40:23 AM): that musta sucked
palkpal1 (3:40:38 AM): yea
palkpal1 (3:40:39 AM): did
palkpal1 (3:40:43 AM): wanted 1 class
palkpal1 (3:40:45 AM): i drive in
palkpal1 (3:40:48 AM): aint there anymore
MisterMartyRose (3:41:16 AM): unreal

oops...

2007-12-09T20:10:00.000-08:00

palkpal1: so where u serious about the fox being gay?
mattrubin82: i think hes bi
mattrubin82: actually
mattrubin82: but yeah
mattrubin82: hes an odd one
palkpal1 (9:08:17 PM): lol i slept with him
MisterMartyRose (9:08:10 PM): awk

everything i said about modo is true all losers

2007-11-28T03:05:00.001-08:00

TJ Palkon=ghpar4

http://my.tcgplayer.com/blog/view/id_987/

uhhh

2007-11-21T18:11:00.000-08:00

palkpal1 (8:02:52 PM): in grade school someone was convinced jerking off was sticking a finger up your ass
palkpal1 (8:02:54 PM): next day
palkpal1 (8:02:57 PM): hes like i jerked off
MisterMartyRose (8:03:01 PM): looooooooooooooool

Chris Moneymaker

2007-11-19T18:10:00.000-08:00

scentofapig [observer]: chris do poker pros get a lot of hot groupie chicks
Money800: married
smokesnow [observer]: to a hot chick?
Money800: not really

2007-11-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

BUSTES

2007-11-14T17:09:00.001-08:00

palkpal1: how many times have u prematurly ejaculated
keeptalking27: too many

Cuban's Definition of Cutting Back

2007-11-05T10:19:00.001-08:00

Cuban313 (1:16:32 PM): and i dont have mono
Cuban313 (1:16:34 PM): probably
MisterMartyRose (12:16:26 PM): good
Cuban313 (1:16:47 PM): i just have a really bad cough
Cuban313 (1:16:58 PM): keep coughing up yellow and green shit
MisterMartyRose (12:16:49 PM): ew
Cuban313 (1:17:12 PM): pretty sure its from smoking almost every day
MisterMartyRose (12:16:54 PM): looooool
Cuban313 (1:17:15 PM): i said i was gonna take a break
Cuban313 (1:17:19 PM): which i kinda have been
Cuban313 (1:17:36 PM): but saturday i smoked like 6 blunts
MisterMartyRose (12:17:32 PM): awk
Cuban313 (1:18:11 PM): 4 of them were fatties that just destroyed my chest after 1 hit

hmmm

2007-11-04T19:00:00.001-08:00

xsuperxscenex: being a girl

xsuperxscenex: and getting raped

xsuperxscenex: is really

xsuperxscenex: so plus ev

xsuperxscenex: for them

gg

2007-11-01T00:41:00.000-07:00

i3jetseg (10:33:09 PM): like illegally downloaded
i3jetseg (10:33:18 PM): "the simpsons movie"
i3jetseg (10:33:29 PM): then after 2 hours of dling
i3jetseg (10:33:36 PM): it was gay fucking sex
i3jetseg (10:33:54 PM): it was terrible
MisterMartyRose (2:33:40 AM): LOLOL

fuck the police

2007-11-01T00:15:00.000-07:00

MisterMartyRose (12:58:55 AM): me and 5 black ppl are coming back from a halloween party
MisterMartyRose (12:59:02 AM): were waiting to cross the street
MisterMartyRose (12:59:09 AM): undercover cop car comes flying at us
MisterMartyRose (12:59:16 AM): 4 narcs jump out
MisterMartyRose (12:59:20 AM): grab me
MisterMartyRose (12:59:28 AM): tell me to get my hands on the car
da7cardstud (12:59:35 AM): story of my life
MisterMartyRose (12:59:41 AM): they ask my friends if they know me or if im just some random white kid
MisterMartyRose (12:59:49 AM): they proceed to grope the shit out of me
MisterMartyRose (12:59:55 AM): dont find ne thing
MisterMartyRose (1:00:01 AM): grope my 2 other friends
MisterMartyRose (1:00:07 AM): dont find ne thing

standard

2007-10-31T00:56:00.001-07:00

da7cardstud (2:54:26 AM): man
da7cardstud (2:54:27 AM): didnt realize my door was open
da7cardstud (2:54:27 AM): just ripped some serious ass
da7cardstud (2:54:58 AM): as this girl walked by
da7cardstud (2:54:58 AM): awk
MisterMartyRose (2:55:06 AM): lol

Nathan and Laura...

2007-10-29T21:33:00.000-07:00

MisterMartyRose (10:15:01 PM): yooo
da7cardstud (10:15:11 PM): yo
da7cardstud (10:15:17 PM): are you coming to my wedding?
MisterMartyRose (10:15:26 PM): did u make an invite on facebook or something?
da7cardstud (10:15:37 PM): not yet
da7cardstud (10:15:45 PM): like the details arent finalized
da7cardstud (10:15:55 PM): not till next july
MisterMartyRose (10:16:12 PM): jeez
MisterMartyRose (10:16:17 PM): I will definitely go dude
da7cardstud (10:16:27 PM): its gonna be in Quebec
MisterMartyRose (10:16:29 PM): awesome
MisterMartyRose (10:16:34 PM): we can drink
MisterMartyRose (10:16:39 PM): legally
da7cardstud (10:16:41 PM): obv
MisterMartyRose (10:19:15 PM): so did u talk to your parents about it yet
da7cardstud (10:20:23 PM): nah, gonna over thxgiving
MisterMartyRose (10:20:59 PM): gl w/ that convo

you might not know this about me...

2007-10-28T23:48:00.000-07:00

da7cardstud (1:46:37 AM): i think i smoked crack by accident
da7cardstud (1:46:39 AM): on saturday
MisterMartyRose (1:46:47 AM): LOLLLLLLLL
MisterMartyRose (1:47:00 AM): how was it
da7cardstud (1:47:03 AM): like we bought of some shady mexicans in Tompkins square
da7cardstud (1:47:11 AM): was awful, felt kinda sick

lol

2007-10-23T18:36:00.000-07:00

Matt Rubin82 (8:32:45 PM): u hear about the tj and baum
Matt Rubin82 (8:32:47 PM): strip club story
MisterMartyRose (8:32:48 PM): na
MisterMartyRose (8:32:52 PM): just heard it happened
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:00 PM): yeah
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:03 PM): not really a story
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:09 PM): girl wouldnt go topless
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:12 PM): for baum's $1
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:16 PM): so he was mad
MisterMartyRose (8:33:10 PM): lol
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:23 PM): and girl apparently came up to tj
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:25 PM): for a tip
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:30 PM): and he unrolled his wad of $
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:34 PM): and had to do the awkward
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:36 PM): search
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:38 PM): for smaller bills
MisterMartyRose (8:33:34 PM): looooooooooooooool
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:43 PM): finally coming out w/ a $5
MisterMartyRose (8:33:49 PM): did he ship it?
Matt Rubin82 (8:33:57 PM): yeah
Matt Rubin82 (8:34:02 PM): he was pretty mad
MisterMartyRose (8:34:39 PM): did she take her top off after the $5
Matt Rubin82 (8:34:49 PM): naw

teacher with the needles

2007-10-23T18:35:00.000-07:00

Matt Rubin82 (9:28:02 PM): teacher today

Matt Rubin82 (9:28:06 PM): goes to pregnant student

Matt Rubin82 (9:28:09 PM): how far along are u

Matt Rubin82 (9:28:18 PM): she goes 4 weeks till i give birth

Matt Rubin82 (9:28:20 PM): teacher goes

Matt Rubin82 (9:28:29 PM): WOW u look like ur gonna go today!

palkpal1 (9:28:50 PM): rofl

Matt Rubin82 (9:29:07 PM): girl goes THANKS A LOT

must...

2007-10-17T23:04:00.001-07:00

[00:57] londonemmy007: heyyyyyyyyy
[00:57] londonemmy007: im flying right now
[00:58] londonemmy007: flying high
[00:58] londonemmy007: and what are you doing?
[00:58] londonemmy007: nedddddddd
[00:59] da7cardstud: flying high as well
[00:59] londonemmy007: not like me tho
[00:59] londonemmy007: i have wings
[01:02] da7cardstud: MBN
[01:02] londonemmy007: what does that mean?
[01:02] da7cardstud: MUST BE NICE
[01:02] londonemmy007: MBN to who?

tilt

2007-10-16T23:34:00.000-07:00

Matt Rubin82 (2:30:05 AM): strip club is perfect place

Matt Rubin82 (2:30:07 AM): when ur on tilt

grandWIZARDmasta (2:29:58 AM): so is grocery store

Matt Rubin82 (2:30:29 AM): lol

grandWIZARDmasta (2:30:13 AM): i went the other day

grandWIZARDmasta (2:30:18 AM): i was on tilt

grandWIZARDmasta (2:30:21 AM): spent like 100

grandWIZARDmasta (2:30:22 AM): on nothing

Matt Rubin82 (2:31:03 AM): lolol

Matt Rubin82 (2:31:13 AM): i figured u would be in the hostess aisle

Matt Rubin82 (2:31:15 AM): making it rain

Matt Rubin82 (2:31:21 AM): w/ twinkies and swiss rolls

grandWIZARDmasta (2:31:11 AM): lolol

loose aggressive

2007-10-14T19:25:00.000-07:00

(14:19:47) Eric Sun: its fine man
(14:19:49) Eric Sun: u need to be less picky
(14:19:54) Eric Sun: with girls, the best style is to be LAG

RAP BATTALS

2007-10-11T00:44:00.000-07:00

da7cardstud (2:22:37 AM): WHO SHOT BIGGIE SMALLS!?
WHO SHOT BIGGIE SMALLS?!
IT WAS PROBABLY A WHITE DUDE!
OOOH YEAH IT WAS PROBABLY A WHITE DUDE!

da7cardstud (2:22:41 AM): thats the chorus
da7cardstud (2:23:38 AM): THEY CAPPED TUPAC TOO!
THEY CAPPED TUPAC TOO!
OR MAYBE HES STILL ALIVE IN TIMBUKTU!
POSTHUMOUSLY HE'S RELEASED AN ALBUM OR TWO!
MisterMartyRose (2:24:15 AM): lol
MisterMartyRose (2:24:18 AM): nice
da7cardstud (2:24:24 AM): MHM
da7cardstud (2:24:49 AM): ABRA KADABRA ALAKAZAM WHEN I GET RIGHT IT IS ALWAYS A GRAND SLAM
da7cardstud (2:24:56 AM): IM FREESTYLIN NOW
da7cardstud (2:25:00 AM): CROWD'S LIKE WOW
da7cardstud (2:25:15 AM): GOTTA STAY ILL GOTTA ROCK THE MIC
LIKE TJ IN A PINK POLO
MisterMartyRose (2:25:28 AM): lol
da7cardstud (2:25:33 AM): OH NO HIS MOM AND THE INDIAN
da7cardstud (2:25:43 AM): NOT NATIVE AMERICAN JUST STRAIGHT PAKISTANIAN
da7cardstud (2:26:21 AM): JUST OFF THE CUFF TRYIN TO GET HIS DICK WET
AND THE GAS FED
da7cardstud (2:26:54 AM): POPPIN ASPRIN AND CLOWNIN ON ALL THE HOES
MisterMartyRose (2:27:00 AM): YO NBAUM PASS ME THE MIC THAT INDIAN NIGGA AINT GOT NO SHOT WITH HER LIKE I GOT NO SHOT WITH A DYKE
da7cardstud (2:27:06 AM): lol
da7cardstud (2:27:46 AM): I STAY REAL NO IMAGINARY NUMBAS
da7cardstud (2:27:59 AM): NO ax + bi shit
da7cardstud (2:28:10 AM): I A NUMBA ONE STUNNA
MisterMartyRose (2:28:20 AM): FIRST NAME NATHAN
MisterMartyRose (2:28:26 AM): LAST NAME GUNNA
da7cardstud (2:28:43 AM): KICKIN THE MIC LIKE ITS JLO's motha
da7cardstud (2:29:07 AM): AMERICAN THIGHS, AMERICAN 9s HOLLERIN AT AMERICAN 20 INCH PIE
MisterMartyRose (2:29:23 AM): MAN O MAN WHYD BIGGIE HAVE TO DIE!
da7cardstud (2:29:47 AM): TRYIN TO GET WET TRYIN TO GET IN HER PANTS I KEEP IT GOIN ON LIKE A DISCO STUNNA TRANCE
da7cardstud (2:30:05 AM): MORE LEGENDARY THAN BAGGER VANCE
MisterMartyRose (2:30:10 AM): LOL
da7cardstud (2:30:28 AM): A BIGGA DICK THAN KOBE BRYANT A REAL CZAR IVAN KINDA TYRANT
MisterMartyRose (2:30:31 AM): I JUST COPPED THAT RX8 ALL CASH IN ADVANCE
da7cardstud (2:30:45 AM): IM RUNNIN HOT ON AND OFF THE TABLES
da7cardstud (2:30:55 AM): MAKIN MORE GREEN THAN ANNE OF GREEN GABLES
MisterMartyRose (2:31:03 AM): OH SHITT
da7cardstud (2:31:18 AM): MORE PAPER THAN CUBAN MORE RATINGS THAN OPRAH
da7cardstud (2:31:36 AM): MORE WORDS OF GOD THAN THE MOTHA FUCKIN POPA
MisterMartyRose (2:31:44 AM): PLAY ME HEADS UP ILL SMASH ALL YOUR HOPES BRUUUUH
da7cardstud (2:31:51 AM): NAH IM TOO STONED
da7cardstud (2:31:59 AM): AND GOTTA REINSTALL FULL TILT
MisterMartyRose (2:32:08 AM): THATS NOT A CHALLENGE
MisterMartyRose (2:32:11 AM): ITS A PART OF THE RAP
da7cardstud (2:32:10 AM): A NIGGA SEES YOU MOTHA AND HIS DICK WILT
da7cardstud (2:32:25 AM): DONT HIT FELT HIT A CARD RACK
MisterMartyRose (2:32:30 AM): I GOT A BIGGER DICK THAN SHAQ
da7cardstud (2:32:37 AM): AND ILL TAKE YA FOR YOUR CHIP RACK
MisterMartyRose (2:32:55 AM): THIS IS TOO FUN ILL NEVER STOP
MisterMartyRose (2:33:05 AM): KINDA LIKE WHEN I WAS FUCKING YOUR MOM AND SHE WAS ON TOP
da7cardstud (2:33:36 AM): DONT FUCK WITH ME ILL END YOU
da7cardstud (2:33:46 AM): LIKE I END QUICK WITH THE PINTS OF THE COLD BREW
da7cardstud (2:34:03 AM): YOUR LIFE AND MY HEALTH THATS WHAT WELL DRINK TOO
MisterMartyRose (2:34:09 AM): NATHAN DRINK UP HOMIE OR ILL GET RUDE
MisterMartyRose (2:34:17 AM): LAST TIME YOU DID THAT U MADE OUT WITH 2 DUDES
da7cardstud (2:34:52 AM): OH SHIT NO NEED TO BE CRUDE
I RUN TRAIN ON THE BOYS LIKE ANNA NICOLE ON AN OLD DUDE
da7cardstud (2:35:03 AM): BUT WHATEVA
da7cardstud (2:35:09 AM): ITS HOW I LIVE MY LIFE
da7cardstud (2:35:14 AM): GAY PRIDES NOT TRIFE
MisterMartyRose (2:35:23 AM): LENNYS GOT A BIG DICK YOU SAY? HE SAYS NADA
MisterMartyRose (2:35:31 AM): WHATEVER NIGGA I GOT MORE SHIPS THEN THE SPANISH ARMADA
da7cardstud (2:36:00 AM): I GOT MORE RHYMES THAN MERYL STREEPS GOT PRADA
BUT HEY, ID STILL FUCK HER DAUGHTER
MisterMartyRose (2:36:29 AM): WORD WHEN I STEP INTO THE BOOTH I CHANGE FROM WHITE TO BLACK
MisterMartyRose (2:36:49 AM): KINDA LIKE CLARK KENT CHANGES TO SUPERMAN NIGGA HOW REAL IS THAT
da7cardstud (2:37:09 AM): HITTIN BRAZILIAN DIMES FROM BEHIND
LIKE HITTIN A CARD RACK
da7cardstud (2:38:00 AM): AWH YEAH I AIM TO PLEASE
I GOT EM ON THEIR KNEES
JUST CRAVIN MY COCK
LIKE A CRACKEHEAD CRAVES ROCK
MisterMartyRose (2:38:27 AM): UHHH YEAH NBAUM AND I SPITTING THIS LYRICAL CRACK
da7cardstud (2:38:36 AM): TO GET THE LADIES IN THE SACK
MisterMartyRose (2:38:46 AM): YEAHH NIGGA YOU KNOW HOW WE ACT
da7cardstud (2:39:09 AM): OH SHIT WHEN I STEP IN YO TOWN
WHIPPIN OUT THESE RHYMES AND THE UNDAGROUND SOUND
da7cardstud (2:39:27 AM): THIS SHITS STRAIGHT OFF THE DOG POUND
da7cardstud (2:39:40 AM): AND YOU KNOW I DONT FUCK AROUND
MisterMartyRose (2:39:49 AM): YEAH AND WE WILL SMASH YOUR FACE AND GRIND IT THE GROUND
da7cardstud (2:40:07 AM): SMOKIN WEED BY THE OUNCE AND SELLIN BY THE POUND
da7cardstud (2:40:20 AM): OH SNAP
da7cardstud (2:40:36 AM): CUS WHEN THE HERBS COME AROUND
MisterMartyRose (2:40:38 AM): WE GOTTA BITCHES FOLLOWING US LIKE A HUNTER AND A HOUND
da7cardstud (2:41:09 AM): LOST AND FOUND
HIT IT IN QUIT IT
ONE DAY YOU UP ON TOP
THE NEXT DAY YOU SPIT ON IT
MisterMartyRose (2:41:13 AM): CAUSE YOU KNOW WHEN I TAP A COLORLESS AND A BLUE I CAST CONFOUND
da7cardstud (2:41:19 AM): LOL
MisterMartyRose (2:41:22 AM): LOL
da7cardstud (2:41:27 AM): SCRY TWO
da7cardstud (2:41:33 AM): I FLOAT A BLUE
da7cardstud (2:41:38 AM): YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
da7cardstud (2:41:44 AM): FORCE SPIKE
MisterMartyRose (2:41:49 AM): LOL
da7cardstud (2:42:19 AM): AIGHT IM OUT
da7cardstud (2:42:21 AM): GOOD RAPS
MisterMartyRose (2:42:26 AM): PEACE

Nbaum gets drunk

2007-10-09T21:02:00.000-07:00

David Barientos: Yo, do you remember what happened last night, you were so drunk?
Nbaum: Nah, what are you talking about?
David: You made out with two dudes.
Nbaum: SHUT UP! Did that really happen? Couldn't it just have been one?
David: (laughing) Nah, it was definitely two, man.
Phil: Man, were they effeminate looking at least?
Nbaum: One of them was.
David: I thought you said you didn't remember anything?
Nbaum: fuck....

si...

2007-10-09T20:14:00.000-07:00

palkpall:you railing or no?
MisterMartyRose: si
palkpal: si?
palkpal: what's that mean?
MisterMartyRose: lol you don't know what si means?
palkpal:your always making up words
palkpal: unreal
MisterMartyRose: lol

later that day...

Matt Rubin8: hey did you take french in school?
palkpal: spanish

roommates...

2007-10-04T22:27:00.000-07:00

Matt Rubin82 (11:13:10 PM): least u dont see him wacking it under the blankets
MisterMartyRose (11:13:12 PM): LOL
MisterMartyRose (11:13:13 PM): u saw that?
Matt Rubin82 (11:13:19 PM): no comment
MisterMartyRose (11:13:22 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

FNM>Foxwoods

2007-10-04T22:26:00.000-07:00

Matt Rubin82 (10:00:10 PM): u wanna foxwoods tomorrow she cancelled class

InsaneSublime (10:00:39 PM): Na. I already promised everyone Id goto FNM

It's +EV apparently...

2007-10-04T22:25:00.000-07:00

NeRvEGaS U (12:24:10 AM): ever cbet nude?
MisterMartyRose (12:24:19 AM): say what
NeRvEGaS U (12:24:28 AM): lol
MisterMartyRose (12:24:31 AM): continuation bet nude?
MisterMartyRose (12:24:51 AM): na I haven't incorporated that into my game yet
NeRvEGaS U (12:25:10 AM): lol
NeRvEGaS U (12:25:16 AM): +EV

poker

2007-10-04T09:16:00.001-07:00

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 5989434

Solid Gold On Gerard's Wall...

2007-10-01T22:53:00.000-07:00

Jeff Cunningham (UBC) wrote
at 10:50pm
Dear Gerard, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your MODO account that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on my player card
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the prerelease, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you

Thanks to:

2007-09-28T02:25:00.000-07:00

Jeff Garza aka ActionJeff for plugging the blog on www.cardrunners.com. So in honor of that I will revive this AJ classic.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007
A Day In The Life Of ActionJeff
jgarzoid: so
jgarzoid: im at the bank depositing some euros
jgarzoid: and my checking account is pretty juicy because I just had a UB wire go through, and I need the write the IRS a big check (over $100k for the sake of this story)
jgarzoid: the woman at the desk goes and asks
jgarzoid: why do you have so much money in your checking account?
jgarzoid: "I have to pay taxes"
jgarzoid: "yeah, but THAT much?"
jgarzoid: "yes."
jgarzoid: "WOW. Do you own a business or something?"
jgarzoid: "yeah, sort of"
jgarzoid: she looks at me skeptically, kind of impressed
jgarzoid: "omg, you really should pay quarterly"
jgarzoid: I eye her and nonchalantly reply
jgarzoid: "That is my quarterly payment."

MisterMartyRose: check the blog
palkpal1: pretty unreal
palkpal1: like i owed $100
palkpal1: guess he owed a tad bit more
MisterMartyRose: yeah maybe

Also I'd like to give a shout out to www.pocketfives.com especially OT as well as www.twoplustwo.com.

...

2007-09-27T23:55:00.001-07:00

janjaweedSlayah (1:53:56 AM): down to 8k on poker
janjaweedSlayah (1:54:00 AM): tilted away so much
janjaweedSlayah (1:54:09 AM): banned from blackjack on ub
janjaweedSlayah (1:54:14 AM): i lost like 25k there
janjaweedSlayah (1:54:17 AM): on blackjack
MisterMartyRose (1:54:31 AM): awkward

testing...

2007-09-27T22:35:00.000-07:00

http://www.easycounter.com/FreeCounter3.html">HTML Counter

He's Not Kidding Either...

2007-09-27T15:57:00.001-07:00

da7cardstud (5:54:26 PM): Yo
da7cardstud (5:54:32 PM): just scored the best campus job ever
MisterMartyRose (5:55:14 PM): what's that
da7cardstud (5:55:18 PM): nude model 9$ an hour
da7cardstud (5:55:27 PM): you rock out with your cock out for 3hr shifts
da7cardstud (5:55:30 PM): and get paid
MisterMartyRose (5:55:43 PM): god your gay
MisterMartyRose (5:55:52 PM): looooooooooooooooooool
MisterMartyRose (5:55:58 PM): $9
MisterMartyRose (5:56:01 PM): loooooooooooooooooooooool
MisterMartyRose (5:56:08 PM): you're a 9 dollar whore
da7cardstud (5:56:18 PM): like you dont have to do anything u just stand there
da7cardstud (5:56:24 PM): u dont have to take on any cock or anything
MisterMartyRose (5:56:44 PM): looool

He's Not Kidding...

2007-09-26T12:10:00.001-07:00

palkpal1 (4:04:05 PM): how much u selling a dime bag for
palkpal1 (4:04:11 PM): 20?

Scene from a movie

2007-09-25T18:07:00.001-07:00

palkpal1 (9:02:01 PM): yo

keeptalking27 (9:02:05 PM): man i sware

keeptalking27 (9:02:09 PM): i just had sometihng happen

keeptalking27 (9:02:15 PM): that should only ever happen in movies

palkpal1 (9:02:24 PM): tell

keeptalking27 (9:02:30 PM): i went 2 get diner

keeptalking27 (9:02:33 PM): so i drove

keeptalking27 (9:02:35 PM): 2 restaurant

keeptalking27 (9:02:40 PM): and as im gettin out of car

keeptalking27 (9:02:43 PM): i see this girl

keeptalking27 (9:03:05 PM): and she has on this like mini skirt but like somehow its tight so like u can still see her ass and like shes redic hot

keeptalking27 (9:03:12 PM): so like i had my back 2 the door of my car

keeptalking27 (9:03:35 PM): and i closed it, but apprently i was too close and so i slammed the corner of the soor into my back and so it hurt and i yelled fuck

keeptalking27 (9:03:49 PM): and so this old lady and her grandchild were i guess parked a few cars away

keeptalking27 (9:03:53 PM): and she comes over to me

keeptalking27 (9:04:04 PM): and shes like, your parents did a terrable job

keeptalking27 (9:04:45 PM): like

keeptalking27 (9:04:51 PM): i rly wanted to just punch her

keeptalking27 (9:04:59 PM): but that wouldent bevery smart

Sick if it's true

2007-09-24T17:41:00.001-07:00

Here is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University.
This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception.
To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. So, taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope, including the wedding party. He said that this was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open the envelopes.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior to the wedding.
After he stood there and watched the people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said "Screw you," he turned to the bride and said "Screw you," and then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm out of here." He had the marriage annulled first thing that Monday morning.
While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway as if nothing was wrong. His revenge?
Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for 300 guests at the wedding and reception, letting everyone know exactly what did happen, and, best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of all of their friends, their entire families, i.e. their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews, etc.
This guy has balls the size of church bells. This is his world; we just live in it.

Banks

2007-09-24T10:53:00.000-07:00

keeptalking27 (1:50:34 PM): so i checked the balance
keeptalking27 (1:50:38 PM): at a atm from a dof bank
keeptalking27 (1:50:42 PM): it was 3.44
keeptalking27 (1:50:44 PM): i get statement
keeptalking27 (1:50:52 PM): i got charged 2.0 for checkin balance at an atm
keeptalking27 (1:50:53 PM): i was like
palkpal1 (1:05:22 AM): rofl
palkpal1 (1:05:23 AM): rofl
keeptalking27 (1:50:56 PM): r u kidding me

I feel like nathan

2007-09-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

MisterMartyRose (1:14:19 AM): YO
MisterMartyRose (1:14:24 AM): JUST DID THE FUNNIEST THING EVER
MisterMartyRose (1:14:40 AM): I CALLED UP MY COLLEGE RADIO STATION
MisterMartyRose (1:14:48 AM): AND SAID I HAD A PROBLEM
MisterMartyRose (1:15:16 AM): BECAUSE THIS RA ASKED ME TO GO BOWLING WITH HER AND SO I THOUGHT SOMETHING MIGHT SPARK
MisterMartyRose (1:15:19 AM): BETWEEN US
MisterMartyRose (1:15:30 AM): BUT THEN SHE TELLS ME THAT RA'S AND RESIDENTS CANT DATE
MisterMartyRose (1:15:42 AM): I DIDNT KNOW IF SHE JUST DIDNT LIKE ME OR SHE WAS PLAYING HARD TO GET
MisterMartyRose (1:15:53 AM): SO THEY TALKED TO ME AND PLAYED SOME SONGS FOR ME
MisterMartyRose (1:16:02 AM): THEN SHE CALLED UP AND TALKED ABOUT ME LOL
NJMIKE087 (1:16:15 AM): LOL
NJMIKE087 (1:16:25 AM): who fucking listens to the college radio station
MisterMartyRose (1:16:40 AM): WHO CARES HOW FUNNY IS THAT
NJMIKE087 (1:16:49 AM): she was listening to college radio station wat a loser
MisterMartyRose (1:17:08 AM): her friends do the show
MisterMartyRose (1:17:11 AM): that's why
NJMIKE087 (1:17:11 AM): oh ok
NJMIKE087 (1:17:16 AM): that explains it

TJ Imperlizzi

2007-09-19T19:00:00.000-07:00

EspooOoo (9:41:58 PM): get a call from tj imp
EspooOoo (9:42:00 PM): hes like
EspooOoo (9:42:08 PM): u got anyone we can set up?
EspooOoo (9:42:17 PM): im like what the fuck do u mean WE

john mullen

2007-09-16T19:10:00.000-07:00

mullennn468 (9:54:26 PM): most porn sites have spyware right?
palkpal1 (9:09:13 AM): how would i know
mullennn468 (9:54:53 PM): idk ur older?
mullennn468 (9:58:12 PM): do macs get viruses?
mullennn468 (9:58:16 PM): my friend says they dont

hmmm

2007-09-11T15:42:00.000-07:00

GFabs5 (3:50:02 PM): lets make a show
GFabs5 (3:50:04 PM): me and u
GFabs5 (3:50:12 PM): we just go around nyc
GFabs5 (3:50:15 PM): and talk to girls
GFabs5 (3:50:20 PM): then sleep with them
GFabs5 (3:50:29 PM): then steal their wallets
roamingwildyak (3:50:33 PM): lol
roamingwildyak (3:50:38 PM): this sounds very similar to date rape
GFabs5 (3:50:43 PM): loooooooooooooooool

Selling full tilt cash

2007-09-10T21:37:00.000-07:00

Selling full tilt money if anyone needs. Just im me or message me on facebook.
tj

Ship it

2007-09-02T01:50:00.000-07:00

carolinakid420: lucky guy

theodore palkon: my equitys 40percent

Dealer: theodore palkon has 15 seconds left to act
theodore palkon: u called pot with 5 high

carolinakid420: il still win

Dealer: carolinakid420 shows [7s 7d]Dealer: theodore palkon shows [Jd Kc]Dealer: carolinakid420 shows two pair, Sevens and TwosDealer: theodore palkon shows two pair, Kings and TwosDealer: theodore palkon wins the pot (2,300) with two pair, Kings and Twos

theodore palkon (Observer): seems u lied

carolinakid420 (Observer): donk

carolinakid420 (Observer): fu

carolinakid420 (Observer): pussy

touche

2007-08-31T19:17:00.000-07:00

da7cardstud: every time ive gotten head from a fatty
da7cardstud: its been nuts
LiquidMetal 525: lol why would u get head from a fatty
da7cardstud: like would u rather fuck a fatty?

Josh Actually Says Something Funny

2007-08-30T14:08:00.000-07:00

keeptalking27 (5:05:09 PM): josh told me this awesome story

keeptalking27 (5:05:19 PM): he is in class

keeptalking27 (5:05:25 PM): and this guy is talking 2 this girl

keeptalking27 (5:05:30 PM): and the guy is lecturing

keeptalking27 (5:05:31 PM): and hes like

keeptalking27 (5:05:34 PM): wtf u doin

keeptalking27 (5:05:42 PM): kid makes up a sb excuse like

keeptalking27 (5:05:48 PM): explaining this thing

keeptalking27 (5:05:49 PM): or w/e

keeptalking27 (5:05:51 PM): he goes

keeptalking27 (5:06:04 PM): ok, well if u need 2 explain something ask her to get coffee w/ u after class

keeptalking27 (5:06:07 PM): and he makes him ask her

keeptalking27 (5:06:10 PM): in front of the class

keeptalking27 (5:06:12 PM): and she goes

keeptalking27 (5:06:15 PM): im sorry i have a boyfriend

palkpal1 (5:06:42 PM): pretty awk

A Quote from Nbaum's Facebook News Feed

2007-08-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

*In Nathan's network Brett Blackman is the most reliable, best to hang out with for a day and most athletic

*He just locked up best smile

nathan again

2007-08-24T19:54:00.000-07:00

Nathan Baum was walking down the street when he came across a random branch of flowers that had fallen from a nearby tree. He reached down and picked it up and proceeded to a field where all his friends were sitting. When his friends jokingly asked him who the flowers for he looked up and saw his love not far away. Nathan strolled up to this "beautiful" girl and offered her the flowers. She took them with a quick nod of thanks and walked away briskly. Nathan observed her and her friends walk down the path back to school when suddenly Nathans girl purposefully dropped the flowers in the mud and continued walking. Nathan was distraught and ran down the hill to retrieve the flowers. Unforunately for Nathan, while he was running down the hill, he tripped and fell. Mud splattered everywhere. Onto himself, his girl, and all her friends. Nathan snatched up the flowers raised them above his head and offered them once again to his girl saying, "You dropped these." She took them once again, mumbled her thanks and went on her away covered in mud.

Booty call gone wrong.

2007-08-22T05:02:00.000-07:00

palkpal1: let me herer this gem of a story

da7cardstud: ex gf calls me tells me to come to NYC

da7cardstud: i assume its a booty call

da7cardstud: she says shes drunk

da7cardstud: says come here now

da7cardstud: i miss the 10 o clock train

da7cardstud: wait an hour

da7cardstud: catch the eleven

da7cardstud: i get there

da7cardstud: locked out of her place

da7cardstud: cell phone not workin

da7cardstud: i eventually get in

da7cardstud: go up

da7cardstud: shes like "im tired"

da7cardstud: apparently wasnt a booty call

da7cardstud: she just wanted to see me b4 college

da7cardstud: like i blew 25 bills on train

da7cardstud: i at least deserve a hand job

da7cardstud: but whatever

da7cardstud: so she says shes gotta sleep

da7cardstud: kicks me out at 3

da7cardstud: nxt train isnt until 4:20

da7cardstud: its cold and rainy

da7cardstud: i wander around for an hour

da7cardstud: get on the train

da7cardstud: fall asleep

da7cardstud: sleep past my stop

da7cardstud: end up in trenton

da7cardstud: am broke

da7cardstud: try to mize the free ride

da7cardstud: conductor is an asshole

da7cardstud: he's real rude

da7cardstud: says get off at hamilton buy a ticket

da7cardstud: but hes a real asshole

da7cardstud: like making needles at me and everything

da7cardstud: i tell him togo fuck himself

da7cardstud: he asks how old i am

da7cardstud: i just dont respond

da7cardstud: i get off at hamilton

da7cardstud: the guy is following me to make sure i dont switch cars

da7cardstud: i wait till the next train and mize the free one stop ride

da7cardstud: and now im home

da7cardstud: all cus that girl is a fucking trick

palkpal1: thats a rough day

palkpal1: she prob wanted a booty call but u took too long

palkpal1: like 2-3 hrs l8r

da7cardstud: maybe

palkpal1: obv did it herself

shopping

2007-08-15T20:49:00.000-07:00

MisterMartyRose (11:36:01 PM): so i was shopping for college stuff
MisterMartyRose (11:36:06 PM): and i see this chick
MisterMartyRose (11:36:13 PM): shopping with her mom
MisterMartyRose (11:36:15 PM): for college
palkpal1 (11:36:52 PM): yea
MisterMartyRose (11:36:55 PM): and I see her put a box of condoms in the shopping cart
MisterMartyRose (11:37:00 PM): I was like wow
MisterMartyRose (11:37:06 PM): the balls on this chick
MisterMartyRose (11:37:14 PM): not only to put them in the cart
MisterMartyRose (11:37:19 PM): but to get the mom to pay for them
palkpal1 (11:37:26 PM): she a looker
MisterMartyRose (11:37:29 PM): yeah
MisterMartyRose (11:37:37 PM): hard to spit game
MisterMartyRose (11:37:40 PM): when she's with her mom
palkpal1 (11:37:46 PM): think i woulda went with the awk
palkpal1 (11:37:53 PM): dont need to buy girl i got them covered
MisterMartyRose (11:38:17 PM): hahaa
palkpal1 (11:38:29 PM): that woulda been nice
palkpal1 (11:38:33 PM): wonder what mom says
palkpal1 (11:38:35 PM): she obv laughs
MisterMartyRose (11:38:59 PM): too awk

Almost Outplayed

2007-08-11T04:36:00.000-07:00

I raise under the gun to 5 which folds to the bb who calls. I have jack 10 of hearts. The flop is 8 9 3 all diamonds. Small blind checks i decide to check. Turns a queen clubs which he checks i bet 10 which he calls. Rivers a queen of spades which he checks i bet 20 he puts me in i call. He goes jack high flush. I go man thats an unlucky turn for me. He responds with yea its a good card for me. Everyones waiting and a guy asks him to show his hand which he refuses. He goes jack high flush you wanna muck. I go show your hand and ill muck he clocks I just grab his cards and show them. He ends up showing jack diamonds 5 spades. He tried to get me to muck so he won. Basically never felt so cheated in my life. Call the kid a scumbag and just scoop the pot. He trys to play it off like it happens in AC all the time.

lol

2007-08-01T15:19:00.001-07:00

[17:04] Gerrard: yo
[17:04] SteveSadin: hey
[17:04] Gerrard: did you ever talk to jayz before
[17:05] SteveSadin: yeah, he owns a recording studio in our building
[17:05] Gerrard: what did u say to him
[17:05] SteveSadin: not much
[17:05] SteveSadin: he's going to be in mike's invitational video though
[17:05] Gerrard: yea right
[17:05] SteveSadin: seriously
[17:05] Gerrard: wont even help
[17:05] Gerrard: gabe walls is a bigger celeb
[17:05] Gerrard: in th emagic ocmminuty
[17:06] SteveSadin: lol, yeah?
[17:06] Gerrard: yea
[17:06] SteveSadin: jayz is a big timer though
[17:06] Gerrard: and he is in mine
[17:06] Gerrard: nah
[17:06] SteveSadin: nice
[17:06] Gerrard: isnt
[17:06] Gerrard: no one knows him
[17:06] Gerrard: that plays magic
[17:06] Gerrard: like random european
[17:06] Gerrard: who votes
[17:07] Gerrard: did jayz already say yes
[17:07] SteveSadin: yeah
[17:07] SteveSadin: mike ran into him on the elevator
[17:08] SteveSadin: as long as Jayz isn't too busy he'll be in
[17:08] Gerrard: i think ill still win
[17:08] SteveSadin: i dunno
[17:08] SteveSadin: people really like mike
[17:08] SteveSadin: and people love jayz
[17:08] Gerrard: he says he isnt going
[17:08] Gerrard: is he going now?
[17:08] Gerrard: he told me he pass it down
[17:09] SteveSadin: i dunno
[17:09] SteveSadin: now that he has jayz in his video i think he'll go
[17:10] Gerrard: what his he going to do with him
[17:10] SteveSadin: i dunno, i think just have him say "hi i'm jayz, vote for my friend mike"
[17:10] SteveSadin: and then he pies mike in the face
[17:10] Gerrard: everyone will know
[17:11] Gerrard: he copyed off me
[17:11] Gerrard: i was the first to get pied in the face
[17:11] SteveSadin: no, gabe was
[17:11] Gerrard: no
[17:11] Gerrard: i was the one who had him pied
[17:11] Gerrard: i started the pie in the face
[17:11] Gerrard: in the magic world
[17:11] SteveSadin: yeah, but mike is getting pied by jayz
[17:11] SteveSadin: do you realize how insane that is
[17:11] Gerrard: doesnt matter
[17:11] Gerrard: he isnt the inventor of the pie in th eface for magic
[17:12] SteveSadin: the voters don't know that
[17:12] Gerrard: ill post it
[17:12] Gerrard: when the video goes up
[17:12] SteveSadin: they're gonna think you're desperate then
[17:12] Gerrard: no
[17:12] Gerrard: im going to post this convo
[17:12] Gerrard: with the date
[17:12] Gerrard: for proof
[17:12] SteveSadin: thats smart
[17:12] Gerrard: yes i know

Another Glasses Classic

2007-07-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

keeptalking27: i want to fucking die

keeptalking27: great
keeptalking27: lost 600 dollars in an hour
palkpal1: ROFL

keeptalking27: yea
keeptalking27: fuck it
keeptalking27: i think im gonna go run my car off a brudge
keeptalking27: or cliff
keeptalking27: know ne good cliffs?
palkpal1: its 1 bad session
palkpal1: like i lost 1500 in one
palkpal1: just let it go
keeptalking27: nah
keeptalking27: im pissed b/c i told myself i quit
keeptalking27: and then i dident
keeptalking27: thats just pathetic